Beneath the surface of your subconscious...

Apparently I look for things like a boy and I also shop like a boy, both of these things could just mean I am impatient. Which I am, its true. However I had never even noticed how my subconscious behaved when I go shopping in a supermarket, or at least not until Stray pointed it out to me.

She noted that I can not push a trolley by its handle using 2 hands. I can also not carry a shopping basket by both handles. I do not know why this is.
If I am controlling a trolley I find I do so by almost leaning across it and placing my hands on either side, if using a basket I would push it along the floor keeping the essential carrying moments minimum. When the basket is empty I carry it by its side upside down.

I wonder why I do this? Is it because I don't want to look like a bag lady doing her weekly shop? I don't know. Maybe next time I shall wear my Heelys and then I can slide with the trolley and really take off.
I dress like a 14 year old boy, and I have recently come to realise why I may do this, I would suggest that the TS may have something to do with it.

I shall explain why. Imagine walking up a crowded high street surrounded by people. (And we are not talking just people, we are talking middle class judgemental people, those that crowd the Surrey high streets where I live).

Then imagine seeing a well dressed professional women in her late twenties heading toward you with a slight twitch on and either clucking like a chicken about to lay or clicking/whistling with a little squawk thrown in.

Now I would look twice. Wouldn't you? However, imagine seeing a 14 year old lad heading toward you possibly doing the same. Which would seem more strange? Kids can get away with strange behaviour, adults can not.

It is not just this though, I would never choose to look like the lady I described a moment ago. Because that's not me. But my point is that our subconscious plays a big role and its only when you try and look at it that you can try and dig at why you are the way you are, and even then it feels like you can only guess.